you don't have to try

I'll be completely honest with you. 

I don't feel beautiful. How can I? I'm not skinny, tan, blonde, athletic, or extremely smart. Isn't that what every guy wants? That's what the media tells me. Rarely can you go by a magazine rack and not see something about "Get sexy in ten days!" or see pictures of beautiful women, who are no doubt Photoshopped. But the fact that they are Photoshopped is the whole point. Why do these women need Photoshop? There's no doubt they are beautiful in real life. But yet editors still feel the need to make almost everything about them fake. They're human! They get pimples, stretch marks, have bad hair days, dye their hair, and get wrinkles; but when we see them on the cover of magazines, we see perfection. We see something that we want to be like, because that's what is deemed beautiful. But it's not real. When was the last time you saw a plus-sized woman in a make-up commercial, or even a shampoo commercial? I know there have been, but it's very rare. Women like Adele make me just happy. She isn't perfect, she's not skinny, but she is beautiful, and she has one of the most amazing voices. At one point, she was told that she needed to lose weight. Did she say, "Okay! Yeah I'll do that." No, she didn't. She said, "I'd lose weight if I was an actress and had to play a role where you're supposed to be 40 pounds lighter, but weight has nothing to do with my career," She also told her producers, "I write music for ears, not for eyes." How can she not be a role model for this topic? If you think your weight or your appearance stops you from chasing your dreams, it doesn't. Just be YOU.

I've always been pretty small in size. But throughout the past two (almost three) years, because of my health I've gained ninety pounds. Ninety! I went from a size 12 to a size 20. It definitely affected my self-esteem. Since I was sick, I was already feeling down and discouraged. I knew it wasn't my fault that I gained the weight. I had so much steroids pumped into my body from all the nerve surgeries, and had to take so many narcotics, they just made me puffy. And it has been hard to get off, not gonna lie. I don't look like how much I actually weigh, but to me that doesn't matter. I still know, and that makes it hard to look at myself as others do. I'm not happy with my body. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you see pictures of yourself from two years ago in a smaller size. It's hard to take your own advice sometimes, but I feel like the only way to make myself believe it is to help others believe it, too.

There are plenty of songs or posts about feeling good about yourself, and not worrying about whether or not you're a size two or a size twenty. It's hard to listen to those songs and really believe the words being sung. Colbie Caillat came out with a song recently called "Try". It's one of those songs that actually made a difference in the way I think about beauty and myself. I really encourage you if you're feeling discouraged or low about yourself to watch this music video (not just listen to it) and listen to the words. It has become my "go-to" song when I'm feeling really low.

Just remember girls, you are SO beautiful. God made you in HIS image, and God don't make no junk! Remember that no matter what, God thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world. He loves you. It can be hard to think you're beautiful when you're constantly comparing yourself to others. While you're wishing you could be like someone else, there's somebody out there who wishes they could be like you. To be honest, most guys love natural women. They don't like when women cake on make up, or put on too much perfume. They don't care what brand of clothes you wear. When it comes down to it, are we trying to impress men, or are we really trying to impress other women by what we wear, how we look, or who we hang around? We're a jealous gender, let's be honest, and we spend a lot of time trying to convince ourselves that we're better than those around us, because it makes us feel better about our own self. I don't know if you do that, but I know that I find myself constantly fixing my hair, my shirt, my jeans, or my make up. When you haven't dated anyone in awhile, you become more and more self-conscious as time goes on. But you have to remind yourself that it shouldn't matter what other people think about you. It matters what YOU think about you. 

Do you love yourself?

Verses to remember

Genesis 1:27, So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.


Proverbs 31:10-31 (MSG),  A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!


Song of Solomon 4:7, You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.


Ecclesiastes 3:11, He has made everything beautiful in its time.



I love you, God loves you, and I'm here to listen for anyone who needs to just talk. Seriously, I know what it feels like to not feel beautiful or loved. Call me, text me, email me. You're beautiful!

May you have peace and love today,
Jenae